i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
