whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
