Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
