I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
