just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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