My nipple is on Facebook.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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