you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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