bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
