One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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