dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize