Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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