so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
