Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
