The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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