i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
