Christians are straight up FREAKS
Having a random hookup so left but love u
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize