Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
