it wasn't lemon gatorade
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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