I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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