just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize