I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
