I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Randomize
