Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize