Need sex. Gaining weight.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Damn victory sex feels great
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize