And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
