I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I don't think brook has ever known best
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
