this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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