I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
