I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
