Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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