I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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