Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
