I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
