Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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