I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
