dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
3pm strippers are depressing
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
