I'm eating all of the evidence.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just want nice things and good sex
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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