A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I want her autograph on my taint
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
