i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
