You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
