Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize