i permit you to call me
barbara walters just said penis...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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