i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
