Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
