ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
