How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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