i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
