1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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