He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
