Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
True strength comes from lack of pants
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
