dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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