When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
