i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
