I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize