yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
