My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
