I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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