Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
