Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
