He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
