there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
