I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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